I'm up because the son was knocking, knocking, knocking at the front door. Why didn't he call?
Because his phone was washed in a washer.
Why was his phone washed in a washer?
Because he was standing on a bucket of paint, his foot went thru the lid and paint went everywhere, all over his clothes, etc.
So his friend took his clothes and threw them in the washer.
And the phone is dead. I assume the pants are dead as well. I don't know why he thinks paint will come out of his jeans but that's what they did.
He arrives home at 4 a.m. in boxers, a tee shirt and a sheen of green latex paint.
And now, just when I have to use all my money for the month of April on car repairs he asks me to replace his phone.
I have a stomach ache.
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6 comments:
I don't know what it is about your stories that I love so much! There is such a matter-of-fact honesty about the way you tell them, for one thing. And then there's the fact that you just can't make up material as entertaining as that. I was going to say, "I hope you're writing this down," but I guess that would be dumb because I just read it...
I'm truly sorry your stomach has to hurt so early in the morning. Plenty of time for that later on in the day.
And that is exactly why I write these things down (and sometimes they are bitchy, cuz that's how I was that day).
What I didn't write was WHY he was standing on the bucket.
Get ready.....
Because him and his friends will pee out the second story window of this unattached garage rather than go downstairs out of the unattached garage and into the house to use the restroom. Because it's "cold". In southern California.
Teenage boys are gross. I wonder if when he turns 20 on May 10th he'll stop being a gross teenager? I'm not optimistic.
I hear Liam got accepted at UCR.
yep, and he should find out this month if he got into UCLA and UCI. But life is what teaches us about cause and effect, eh?
The world is a great big Rube Goldberg machine, and we are just cogs and wheels thereon.
With a monkey wrench thrown in every once in a while.
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