No trip today, later maybe

I'm not flying to Ore today.  Gare died yesterday morning.  We didn't get there in time or Gare decided he couldn't wait for us.  

When I got the call yesterday my eyes filled up with tears.  The depths of my feelings were even larger than what I anticipated.  Throughout the day I found myself spacing out, staring off into the distance as I thought about him, our trip, the finality of his passing.  

I cannot convey how large this man was.  Personality-wise he was a Svegali type.  He wasn't really evil, just extremely driven to develop (some would say exploit) a talent.  But that said, it was always with credit.  My husband is a fantastic singer.  Best voice ever (although he is now miserly with it) and Gare ALWAYS crowed to anyone who'd listen that he had the best voice in the world.  

In our day we were the coolest, the smartest: the intelligencia of the theater world in our town.  And we believed it too.  The belief in that was what got all of us to do what we did.  And we accomplished a lot.  We started theater groups that continue on to this day 20+ years later.  

We couldn't have done it without Gare.  He believed in that dream and pulled us along for the ride.  

There were casualities along the way, but even those who left will tell you he made an impression.

I'm missing him, knowing he will never shout out my name again.