I read something my niece wrote. Don't worry, it was public so it's not like I was being nosy. :-)
She wrote: "I’m broken, some days." ***note: Do not take that comment out of context, I only wanted to address this line.***
The struggle for independence is very tied to our versions of the expectations of others. It takes years to get to the point that you understand that piece. Sometimes you compromise, some times you can't.
We believe rightly or wrongly that if we don't behave a certain way we've failed (them). We think we know what the expectations are (and sometimes we do absolutely) and sometimes we make those expectations up.
Trying to balance the expectations of others and our own actions can sometimes make you feel like you've failed, that you're broken in some ways.
There is no failure in taking moments (days, weeks, etc.) in reflecting on the idea of not behaving in ways that don't come up to the expectations of others. There is no failure on your part if you cannot compromise your own self to come up to the expectations of others. For they are pushing their expectations upon you to meet their own expectations, even if they are not aware of it.
Broken? No. Finding your own voice, your own way? Yes.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
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