Mostly I grind it myself

On Wed I bought some coffee beans at Starbucks.  I had them grind it at the espresso setting.  On Thurs morning I opened the bag and spooned some grinds into the espresso basket.  Ding dang it!  It was too fine, it was ground at a turkish grind. 

You cannot use a turkish grind because it sets up a vacumn inside the basket.  No coffee comes out and you run the risk of blowing the gasket.  I ground some other kinds of beans I have for this happenstance.  Why, you ask?  Because it happens all the time.  You'd think I'd learn to check it before I leave Starbucks.  I was in such a hurry to get home I didn't.

And of course I didn't package it up so I could take it back.  I was running late so when I realized I didn't have the time I thought I'd buy some regular grind and mix it with the too finely ground and I'd have a happy medium.  The larger grounds would allow enough room for the water to circulate! 

I went into Starbucks and found out they don't have pre-ground coffee.  So I told the clerk I needed regular grind because I wanted to mix it with the too fine stuff the clerk ground the day before.  She told me I could bring it back.  But since I needed it today so I'd have coffee in the a.m. I told her I'd buy another pound.  

She began to grind my coffee.  She checked it after a bit and had me look at it.  It was perfect.  She continued and then found the grind was getting finer.  Apparently the machine was off as it kept getting finer and finer til it was powder.  She wasn't giving up either.  She got more beans and set the machine to a courser setting.  Finally she got it to grind at a texture that would work for my espresso machine.

Since it took 15 mins to get the grind right she gave me the pound and my latte to me for free.  Yippee!

I love that she did that...although I sure do wish Starbucks would train their clerks better when it comes to grinding coffee for customers.  Afterall, it happens alot and it's not because every store has a grinder that needs adjusting.  

Poor dog

I hate when our big dog has an epileptic fit.  This one lasted at least 5 mins.  I heard him walking around and I thought he wanted to go outside.  I opened the door and he stiffly walked outside and I knew he was starting one.  Usually he comes to me and stands there wanting pets (reassurance?) and then begins the fit.  

I went out with him and followed him.  As we got to the front steps (I let him out out laundry room door) he began staggering over to me.  He fell over onto me and the steps (his ribs hit the edge of the steps pretty hard) and I just kept hugging him and telling him it was ok.  I don't really think he hears me when he is having the fit but it helps reassure me.

This one went on long enough that I thought he was having a stroke.  He was panting hard and his eyes were wild.  

He slowly came out of it and stood right up and took a few steps away from me.  I called to him and he came to me and then went to get a drink of water.  I was afraid he was going to have another and fall into the tub of water.  

A few mins after that he walked around the yard, peed and then went exploring the yard.

I hate that he has these.  He doesn't have them often enough to give him daily medication.  But it really worries me that they're lasting longer than they used to.  

My sock monkey fabric design

Sock monkey fabric

This is my most recent Spoonflower upload.   Clicky here.  

I love the violet one but I think I will enter a different color one for the next contest. The deadline is Monday and I don't think you can vote until Thurs. On Thurs I'll post the actual page where you can vote (although I think only 3 people look at this blog and anyone from this computer can't vote since it only counts 1 from each isp/household). 

I like my little sockmonkeys. I think they are darling.

Just a thing or two to learn from

Yesterday I saw a woman who had a full-grown iguana on a leash. She sat on a planter and tried to get people to register to vote. The iguana was a good ploy to get people to stop. The iguana climbed up the tree at one point.

Today I saw 2 men who had a shepard that looked like it was part wolf. It was HUGE and had a bristle back (maybe it was part ridgeback?) but it's legs were very long and slender. Pretty dog. Good thing it was leashed tho.

Last Sat night I found I got a new ATM card. It probably came the week before but I never saw it. I found the envelope by happenstance and opened it even tho it was unmarked. My new card was in it. I looked for an envelope that might contain the PIN but could not find it. It has to be here somewhere cuz mail does not get thrown away here very often. In any case I decided that I HAD to go to the bank and have them give me a PIN. I don't have any way to get ANY cash. I had to borrow 20 from my friend and I need to pay her back.

I left early on Wed. to go to the bank. I was there by 8:00 a.m. The bank doesn't open til 9 and it closes at 5. I work from 8:30 to 5:30. I cannot do my banking during the week. Dang it.

The big boss told me (after she overheard me telling my boss the story). She very helpfully, I say with some sarcasm, told me it was open on Saturday.

Today she spent 3 hours at her bank tranferring her accounts from one bank to another; during working hours I might add. How nice for her that she can do that.

Some hours later she casually told me and my boss that her retirement from her last job (which as a very high profile company here in town where she was the CEO) would only last 2 more years...that she would only get yearly checks from them for 2 more years. She mentioned that they are larger than her yearly pay at this job (she makes 140k a year). And when those check stop after 2 more payouts she's gonna be poor because she won't have any income. She told us she might end up being a bag lady.

Hmmmm, let me see, she owns 3 homes (one in Carmel, CA) she currently makes at least 300k a year in checks and she's been investing for decades. I told her in all seriousness, "I really, really don't think you'll be a bag lady. And if you are a bag lady it will be a very expensive bag."

The 3rd thing she did was decide she was going to not buy season tickets for a philharmonic here in town. So she called to tell them since she'd just gotten an email asking her to purchase. The person on the phone said, "Ohhhh, you're MM, the ex-CEO of XXX company? Oh, I wish you'd continue your subscription!"

She comes out of her office to tell me how embarrassing it was that the woman knew who she was.

Ah huh, yeah, I'm sure she was tickled pink that a common person working in the box office knew who she was.

Ya know why this bothers me? Because some of the workers in our office have started to go to this charity that buys food that is near it's expiration date and offers whatever they have at 20.00. You basically get 5 or 6 grocery bags of food and sundry items for that 20.00. And she walks around telling all of us who have pay cuts (she does too, just to be fair) but some people are having to cut way back due to the cuts. Why can't she keep her stuff private? She has no tact.

Change is good

The past 2 days have been cold, rainy-ish and overcast. Tomorrow it's supposed to be 88. Crazy.

This weekend is book club, just the 3 of us. And yes, we read the book that the eyeroller suggested and it was good. I really enjoyed it.

Not sure if we're doing it Fri or Sat. Sat is better I think for me and one other. We just have to figure out if the 3rd one can do it.

Terri is suggesting we change our book club name. It's a good idea although I am attached to the other one.

But change is good.

I copy and paste for a living

Today the director at work who cannot seem to get a handle on things asked me to give her my perspective on something. I am not going to do it. She's asking my perspective on something that we've talked about for 3 years. I've asked and argued why we should be doing this one task differently. She refuses to do it the way I've said it needs to be done.

This woman has played the: "Can I get your perspective" card too many times on me. I give it to her and she uses my material to upper management and claims it to be her own. Because she can't do these things. She cannot write up a plan, can't write up a justification, cannot write up anything without help. This isn't just little memo type stuff, these are management-level decision-ables, recommendations and reports.

The new big boss came in and asked why we were doing the one task the way we are. Because we are doing it in a very repetitive and labor-intensive manner. He suggested to her we change it (to the way I have been arguing for. We BOUGHT a product to do this task legally and quickly but it doesn't work and when I told her it doesn't work and the seller of the product refuses to fix it she dropped the ball.

She can't really answer the question the new boss asked her so she is asking me what it will take to do it the new way and how will it benefit us.

I'm a low-level admin and I've been told I'm a low level admin. I do not get paid to help her do her job (other than the low level administrative work) so I am not going to do a big write up so she can forward it to the new boss. She can figure it out herself. I can't even understand why she is asking me this since we've gone over it multiple times over the last 3 years.

Too bad I can't answer and cc the new boss. I won't (even tho I think it) and it would help highlight her inability to do this and the fact she is requesting that I "give" her my perspective instead of knowing the very product she is supposed to be in charge of. For crying out loud she is asking programmer level technical stuff as well as strategic benefits for the entire company. No, she can do this without me. I wish her luck.

Mood

It's raining. In early October. Raining.

The weekend is supposed to be in the mid 90's.

The rain suits my mood these days.

Hello mortality

Went to Mike's memorial yesterday. It was nice, somewhat smaller than the last one we went to (of our group) but a lot of people couldn't get here like they could during the summer months.

It was nice to see everyone again. I hate that we all get together when someone dies but I guess we'll see this happen over and over as we get older.

I got teary-eyed while Mike's wife spoke of his last days and what his friends meant to him. I didn't think I would but listening to her broke my heart.

The fun part was looking thru a ton of pictures. PattyS brought 2 boxes that were slated for the trash bin when someone saved them. I'll post some when I get a chance to do something like scan them. Wish we had a scanner, that would make it easier.

The old guard is leaving the planet. Hello mortality.

The surprise of the day

Wow. Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. I'm figuring it's because he jump-started the country and the world back to something less war-like than the last 8 years. There was such an electrifying vibe to everything as he campaigned.

I'm always proud to be an American, but as I watched the last president go down paths I didn't want him to do down I slunk farther and farther down in the seat wishing it'd go away.

In 2003 when we went to Paris (days after Bush declared war), all 4 of us decided we'd make sure to tell anyone who asked: "I did not vote for him". None of us had and we were counseled to stay in the US and not go abroad. As an aside, we were not hassled about it but we did have conversation (with a british couple) and one comment from a taxi driver. Both exchanges were of puzzlement on why Bush was being the way he was.

I'm against war, I know, I know, support our troops, support our commander in chief. I don't have to approve of the war I can still support the guys who went there and performed their duty.

So when Obama came with messages of peace, he handed us back the hope that we could be proud of this country again. That we could sit across the table and converse with diplomacy, that he'd close Gitmo, that we'd go back to civility. Those things were the things I grasped onto.

I wasn't the only one. And I thought there was a palpable difference.

That's why Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize.

Early evening: I'm adding to this post. I'm amazed at how many people are railing against Obama getting the award. Many of them confuse the duties of the presidency with getting the award. Cries of: He hasn't done anything in the 11 days he was in office or What has he done? Tell me what wars has he stopped? Healthcare is still being rammed down our throats! Unemployment is so high!

Multiple times during the day I had to post what the NPP was and what the rules were. I even posted the video of the NPP committee member explaining what A. Nobel put down as the criteria and how Obama met all the criteria.

Why isn't any recognition of a peaceable solution applauded and given high fives by the entire country? It makes me sad.

Oh and btw, Obama is donating the 1.4 million to charity.

Oct shut in

It's cold. It's unusual to have weather this chilly this early in Oct. I associate Halloween with the weather turning from warmish to windy cold.

This year the tail end of Sept took a turn into fall weather. And I'm not very happy about that. Means I have to find all my warmer clothes and get new boots. I wish for very warm boots, one flat pair and one with heels. Seems I can't find pants that are short enough to wear flat shoes so I must resort to heels.

I shake my fist at cold weather. At the colds it's brings (I've already had my cold for winter so please, no more colds). I'd spit in the face of winter but it's likely to come back at me so forget that. Basically this weekend I stayed inside and didn't venture out because I was sick. bah.

I guess I'd better start knitting again. Keeps me warm having woolen scarves wrapped around my neck AND having a scarf project on my lap.

I still neeeeed to learn how to knit socks. I hate that I can't figure out the heel and turning the heel. For crying out loud, my brain is turning to mush that I can't figure it out on my own. Must be age. $@&*#$*&%!!

Off I go, pondering the boring-ness of my blog posts. I need to get out more so I have something to write about.

I sold a design!

Hey, this is cool. Someone bought one of my designs on Spoonflower! Now don't get all excited I don't get anything because someone bought one of my designs...I get the satisfaction that someone liked it enough to purchase it.

And this is the one they bought, click here.

I LOVE that one.

Maybe I ought to buy some and sell fat quarters?

Dusty nose

I left work early today. I was definitely spreading germs. I kept sneezing and blowing snot everywhere and I didn't feel well so I got my work done and left.

I came home took a fitful nap, hard to nap when you can't breathe or snot is flying from your nose. I bought the Nasonex and it was, with my co-pay - $35.00. OMG.

I keep wondering if the amount of dust in this house (which is to say we have dust flying thru this 90 year old house all the time) is a factor in my turbinate tissues being so swollen. Especially since our front yard is all dirt - it makes it 100 times worse.

I don't think I have allergies, but I can see where a constant supply of fine dust could irritate the nose. Especially one that has a deviated septum since it can't clean itself out as efficiently as a nose with a straight septum.

So even tho I felt like doo-doo I vacuumed. I cannot afford 35.00 for the nasal steroids so I guess I'd better vacuum every single day.

It's either that or move to my very own apartment so there is no dogs, no furniture and no dust.

I hate having breathing problems. And snot and wet tissues.

No wonder my turbinates are swollen

Ding dang it, I knew I was getting sick. This morning sneezing, snot, headache. I guess my turbinates are working overtime.

hahaha, I like the word turbinates. A new word is always fun to learn...even if you have a deviated septum or cold to learn about them.

It's not as straight forward as I thought - deviated septum

Yowie my head hurts.  I think I'm sick.  Coincidentally I went to the ENT doc yesterday.

I need to get my deviated septum fixed.  After my tangle with the tree that broke my nose last May I've been deviated.  And I've been having breathing problems since then.  It's mostly noticeable when I have both pain and a stuffy nose in the morning.  I guess when I lay down ooky stuff pools up in my sinuses.  But once I'm up and moving around the headache goes away.  

Yesterday I went in hoping to schedule the surgery.  I left without scheduling it.  Instead I left with a prescription for a steroid spray & antibiotics, a neti bottle and a 2 month wait.  Because insurance requires I try these things before I can have the surgery.

Not only is my septum deviated but the turbinates are swollen.  Click the link to see what the turbinates are...I had no idea I had turbinates, much less that they could be swollen.  So the spray is supposed to help calm down the turbinates and the neti pot (which is really a bottle for me) irrigates the nasal passages getting rid of all kinds of gunk.  

The ENT also thought I might have sleep apnea.  Because I wake up with headaches.  Great.  Can't I have a simple deviated septum?

In any case I have to undergo nearly 2 months  of pharmaceuticals before insurance will approve surgery.  Although I think if I didn't have the swollen turbinates it would be easier.  He said he'd remove part of the turbinates because they were so swollen.  Which means he'll remove some of the core of the turbinates.  Weird eh?

Tonight I try the neti.  

Falling over cuz my toes are numb

Today it was cool.  Cool like 60 degrees cool.  And it rained for a few minutes!  Day before yesterday it was 106 degrees!  

I waited for the son to get out of class before I drove home.  The niece wanted to have dinner with us so I dropped the son home so he could do his 90 pages of reading and I met them at Panera.  I had a sweater but that was not enough.

In Calif it can be sweltering one day and the next freezing-butt cold.  That's what it's like now and guess what?  All the air conditioners are still set for hot weather and when you go into a restaurant it's ice cold inside. 

So I shivered while I ate my sandwich and talked to the family.  Oh and the hub and BIL went to get money and ran into Donita and Tracey so they joined us.  You'd think with a big group we'd huddle together for warmth.

I know some people love the cooler weather (both Donita and Tracey do) but it hurts me.  My toes are frozen since I'm wearing sandals.  My legs were cold since I was wearing capri's.  My sweater is great for summer coolness but not fall coolness.

I stayed as long as I could but I still had to get milk and get home so I could get ready for work tomorrow.  So I left and froze my butt off at the grocery store.  Brrrrr.

Sadly I'll probably wake up tonight in the middle of the night sweltering.  That's just how it's been lately.

Bummer, fall is coming.  I think it will still warm up once or twice before the cool/cold is here to stay but I've had my warning.  

A momentary message

Argh, it's so hot I woke up in a sweat.  

Some things come to an end

Tonight I did something drastic.  I quit book club.  I realized, with crystal clarity that I was not having fun anymore.  This has been coming for months.  

It hit home tonight when I was talking about my friend who is dying of cancer.  It's a part of his story that he did not attend to his melanoma when he was not working.  No insurance, no doctor visits.  Unfortunately because of his decision his melanoma (which was removed once he got insurance) had spread.  My story tonight had nothing to do with the political hot topic of insurance reform. Nothing.  It was the story of how he has been mishandled by the medical establishment.  Not once did I mention insurance reform, not once did I mention my political beliefs on reform.

But 2 of the bc members kept quiet about his dying and kept shooting looks at one another.  I don't understand that.  I don't understand how they choose to make this about my political beliefs rather than my friend dying and how all of his friends are rallying around him to make the rest of his life as comfortable as possible.

And then the book.  OMG, I hated the book.  Whatever.  We all have our personal preferences about whatever material we're reading.  2 other members besides me didn't understand the book because as far as I'm concerned the device the author used was ambiguous and half-horror that never went anywhere.  It was 3 likes the book and 3 disliked the book. In any case the 2 members who kept shooting looks at one another during my friends story were in the kitchen and one said to the other, "I guess some people don't get metaphor".  That was really the kicker.  

So as I drove home I decided I wasn't having fun and some things come to an end.  This is one of them, at least for me.

One of the members has already called me.  She said, "How dare you quit before I quit?"  She's going to send email as well, saying she's going to take a break.  She's not quite as in your face as I am.  I invited the others to call me or email or not to reply at all, it's their choice.  But if they want specifics I'll tell them exactly why I'm done.

I'm fairly certain my best friend (who is the co-originator with me of this book club) will end up quitting as well.  This is not a dividing the troops type of thing if she doesn't that's ok too.  The friend who called me asks if we can do our own book club and we're already deciding to go on without the others.  We'll do a once a month dinner with book discussion.  It will be much nicer not having to be afraid to discuss things because one of us don't agree on a particular subject.  We can have those kinds of discussions without taking things personally.

So I feel freer tonight.  

Spoonflower spoons

Another Spoonflower entry.  The theme is "spoons and flowers".  So mine is pretty literal.  Once again, I can see I won't win but it's ok, I like my design and it does have some votes so that's nice.  Here is a link to see all of the entries, click here. 

I can so see this as a cute apron, can't you?  I'm thinking I could make some coordinating fabric with some of the flowers colored pink or citrus colors.  Too cute.   Wouldn't the black and white look great with maybe some rick-rack in pink or red or a bright cheery accent color?  

The poor Spoonflower folks, they thought to do a difficult theme to keep the number of entries low.  Nope, they still got a lot and I know they worked hard to put it all up on the site.  I'm thinking they need to do a short submission time.  This one was 4 days long and they got 70 entries.  They need to do a one day or 8 hour submission time to make it manageable I think.

T's status

So my friend in the hospital (yes, he is still there) is going to need chemo.  He's got tumors along his spine.  He still cannot move is legs.  He has some movement, but I think it's a mere few millimeters rather than being able to lift.  

At work we were discussing things to get him, we talked about a dvd player.  I suggested we get him a laptop.  I figured he'd be in the hospital a long time and when he went into skilled nursing he'd be bored most of the day.  

Having communication outside is imperative.   I was once in the hospital for a month (way before laptops were available) and watching tv and waiting for the phone to ring was horribly boring.

He got it today.  2 guys from work delivered it to him.  I'm so happy he's got a way to communicate with us and document whatever he wants to document.  

I hope he writes his story. 

Me fabric designs

I can already see by the votes I'm not going to come close to winning this weeks contest but it sure is fun to see my design up on Spoonflower.  It does have some votes, I asked my friends to vote but really there are strangers who voted for this design too!

This is it.   A cute little owl dressed up as a hedgehog or a hedgehog dressed up as an owl...you choose.  

Originally I did this guy as a Christmas fabric but didn't realize I missed the deadline to enter, I was a day late.  So I have my Christmas hedgie for sale and I decided to use his image in the Halloween contest.  Don't ask me why Spoonflower had a Christmas contest before a Halloween one...they just did.  :-)

I might make a whole series of holiday hedgies using this little guy.  I think he's adorable, if I do say so myself. LOL.

I do want to make a general design with this guy because I think I might want to order some fabric from them.  What I've seen on the internet, in terms of quality looks great.  I do sort of have 2 issues tho.  One is the design is too cutesy for me for clothing or a purse, I think I need a 4 year old to wear this as clothing.  And second the yardage is expensive.  $18.00 a yard.  A yard isn't very much so whatever I make has to be smallish and the design something I'd actually wear.  That said, I want to support Spoonflower.  I think it's a great site and I love cruising it.  

Decisions, decisions.  

I do wish they had a place to move things that are obviously not going to be used by most people.  People design their own fabric labels (great idea) but I'm not going to buy those designs and probably nobody else will either other than the originator.  Sometimes people are using SF's bandwidth to upload family photos - now really who wants to see that when you have to explore fabric one by one?  Or random clip art, not my thing; maybe someone WILL buy a yard of random clip art?  Maybe, but doubtful.

To SF's credit they are making it easier to navigate by adding keywords like: Holiday, Floral, etc.  And by color too.  But sometimes I don't know what I'm looking for so I have to use the Explore option...which gives you pages and pages of everything in the order it was loaded.

It's a fun site, go there by clicking here. 

What race?

I work in an office that is located in an outside mall - basically a strip mall with a movie theater and about 20 (mostly) independent restaurants.  Mostly asian food.  During the summer it is dead.  There are no houses nearby and the students are gone so it's not very busy.  That will change very soon, students are about to start classes.  btw, we are across from a university.  But right now there are no shoppers, just one or two people out and about. 

Sooooo, today about 4:00 me and my friend are sitting out on the second floor balcony taking a break.  We see a guy in an electric wheelchair racing around the parking lot begging for change.  He hits up the 2 people in the parking lot.  One gives him money, the other (an office worker I recognize) does not.

He whizzes over to the area right underneath us and I can hear him asking the FEDX lady for money.  My friend says "I wish there were a security guy around."  Right that second a security guard walks up.  I said to him, "Hey, there is a guy in a wheelchair right downstairs (I point downward) who is begging for money."

He says, "What does he look like?"  

I know my face is showing an expression like...wtf, did you not hear what I said?  

I say, "Ummmm, he's in an electric  WHEELCHAIR"

He says, "What is his race?"

Ok, so even tho I did note (in my brain) his race, it was not the first thing I noticed.  I noticed he was in a WHEELCHAIR.  Since there is no wheelchair convention around and there are no people out and about it never occurred to me to say, "Hey there is a teal, black, yellow, hispanic, white, green,  purple man in a wheelchair begging for money downstairs."

My friend was looking at me, I could see her looking at me with that, "OMG, did he just ask the stupidest question just now?"

He left after I told him his race but really, it was not necessary. 

Weird. 

Happy drunks

Last night was hilarious.  The family went to dinner.  Em was invited but didn't respond to her uncles texts, but did respond to the daughter's text saying she couldn't make it.  

So we all went without her.  The son is hiking or out somewhere til Tuesday so he wasn't there.

We sat down and then saw one of our pals coming out of the movies.  She joined us.  Then the BIL texted another friend who was in our area and she joined us.

So 6 for dinner.  We sat and did a lot of talking about the current hot topic of the day: insurance reform.  

2 drunk people came out on the patio.  A sort of cute couple (in their 20's) with a lot of tattoos.  They weren't sloppy drunk but they were definitely drunk.  The guy started talking to us.  Asking the boys how they were so successful at getting women.  LOL.  4 women at our table to our 2 guys.  A couple of smart-asses comments from our side to the girl, which they totally enjoyed and the guy was off and running with his life story.

And a lot of questions thrown at our general vicinity...who's your favorite football team?  Does he look like a private school/christian school kid?  (he went to both kinds of schools his entire life), etc.  They were very social and very funny in a drunk way.  The guy tried to give us a giant yellow cocktail.  We declined.  I was glad to see he didn't drink it, he was already drunk enough.  LOL. 

Lucky for us they came at a time when we were winding down to go.  I would not have been as amused if they came out before we finished our dinner.  

We left and that was our evening out...spent chatting with family, friends and then people trying to make friends with us.  

cells and texting

Yikes, I wasted an entire day with a migraine-like headache.  

We had to get the daughter a new phone.  She was supposed to get one for HS graduation but Aug was a money drain so she had to wait til Sept.  I didn't expect the phone to be as expensive as it was...it has a rebate of 100.00 but I thought it was an instant rebate not a mail in one.  So the husband paid the bill.  

Both kids got new phones, they were due for an upgrade.  They both got the Versa, a good touchscreen but it doesn't require that you get an internet plan.

The husband got a blackberry.  I'm a little puzzled why he got such a technologically advanced phone but whatever.

I'm still waiting for my upgrade time.  I have a longgggg time.  I can't get one for another year and 2 months.  Ding dang dog that ate my phone is still on my shit list.

My phones battery is kaput, I can text as much as I want but if I talk on it the battery drains in about 5 mins.  Then it goes dead.  So I think I'll take the son's Razor and use that when I can't stand carrying around a charger and talking only when it's plugged in.

I don't talk on my cell very much.  I use the least amount of mins.  The husband is the most talkative, the son comes in second, the daughter third.  I mostly use mine to take calls from the family when they call me to ask me if I need anything from the store.  Oh, I do ring my carpooler once I leave my house when I am picking her up.  But I don't talk I just ring her to let her know I am on my way.  I might actually have a conversation on my phone twice a week.  

So text me if you need to contact me.  

The worst

Last night we drove in to see our friend who is pretty ill.  Thursday he could walk and Thursday night he couldn't.  All because of a tumor.

Today we got the report that the cancer is everywhere.  I don't know what that means in medical terms.

The three of us who know did not tell the rest of the office.  All they know is he can't walk, he's got cancer and multiple tumors were found.

Last night we laughed with our friend.  He's telling us he is going to fight this.  I hear huge strides have been made in treatment these days.

I am preparing myself for the worst.

Crazy nut

Have you ever wanted to go thru the monitor and strangle someone?  This morning I did.  Some woman who is posting to my husbands Facebook accused me of writing stuff I would never write.  Never, because I don't need to resort to talking about tv personalities or Fox news to make my point.

She does seem to get my point tho, that she is following what others say rather than do the research on her own.  She keeps using the words, "smart person" or "smart people" say this or that.  

Basically I asked her if she'd read the text of the healthcare proposals or the summaries.  Because I have, searching for whatever claims that seem so outlandishly odd.  She doubts I have.  She doesn't know me very well does she?  

So I'm calling her out to show me the text.  Everyone gets notificiations showing each persons post in the threads (unless they turned off notifications) and I'm willing to bet others in the thread have notifications turned on and will say there was never any such post written by me.  

Migraineur

My poor daughter.  3rd migraine in about a week.  Her abortive meds just don't really work for her.  She's a chronic Migraineur.   Without daily medications she has migraines almost every day.  With the right combo of meds maybe once or twice a month.  She's had some good combos (by good, I don't mean, hooray - drugs) but combos that allow her to have some kind of life that allows her to plan.

When she gets into these cycles of multiple migraines over days she gets (understandably) upset.  Not just upset but emotionally fragile.   She's 17, she's had migraines her entire life.  She's the strongest person I know to have to deal with this.

I wrote an email to her neurologist tonight.  She needs more resources than "here, lets try this dosage" type thing.  I need her to be educated that as it stands right now she's going to always have these and figure out the best way for her to cope.  I know she is not alone but most times she thinks she is.  

I get migraines (like last summer when I got them almost every day...but they did not put me down like some I've had...I could, and did work right thru them).  Last summer most of mine didn't turn into raging OMG, I must get in the dark and don't talk, no sound at all kind of migraine.  But I have had them and I do know what it's like.  The husband had a bout of cluster migraines 30 years ago, but she has never seen him with a headache so she doesn't know he does understand the pain.

And frankly it doesn't matter because she's the one with the pain.  We can't help her.  

I'm making an appt for her tomorrow and I'm going to go in with her.  She's not honest enough with him and I know I can convey exactly how she is doing emotionally.   Better yet, get her to really tell him by me breaking the ice about it.  

I just wish I could help her. 

weekend recap

I finished reading Julie/Julia.  Okay book, not anything earth-shattering.  The author is witty but I had to keep putting it down for some reason.  Maybe it was Julies intensity as compared to her husband Eric.  Not exactly sure why I had to keep walking away.  But at least I had something to read that didn't make me sit on the couch ALL day. LOL.  I can see how it would make a fun movie tho.

I also beaded a bezel for a piece of teal-green transparent glass with dichoric glass pieces inside.  I used Delica beads in 904 (I think) with peyote and right-angle weave.  Then I did a peyote bail and strung it on black rattail.  I don't have any teal-green clothing and am not planning on buying any so the black rattail will disappear when I wear it with a black tee shirt.  The glass looks better with a black background so it should stand out.

I went to dinner once.  K & J called and we decided to go out with them.  Fun.  Saw the BIL who joined us and then we saw 2 friends who'd decided to have dinner together.  They joined our table and it was a fun night...even tho it was hard to talk to the other end of the table.  Not to mention that both ends of the table are from different eras in our lives so while they've met each other, it's not like they've spent a lot of time with one another.  All in all, fun tho.

I also went shopping with 2 different friends at 2 different times.  But both times me and the daughter went.  It was fun hanging out with my daughter and my friends.  Course the daughter has grown up with both of these women so when I had to leave to take a call about my friend in the hospital I didn't feel badly about making them talk to one another.  LOL.  The daughter is grown up enough to have a conversation rather than having to be babysat.

So it was a nice balance of doing some stuff and staying home and doing stuff at home.  3 days off was nice, I wish I had the rest of the week off tho.  hahahaha.  Back to the grind in about an hour. 

Oh yeah AND I did my fingernails and my toenails.  Red, red, red.  

Be grateful

It's been a tough couple of days.  Not me personally but I've watched from afar a friend who's had some bad months due to horrible pain that docs could not figure out or didn't take seriously.

I heard from him on Fri.  He had what looked like a neurological problem and could not walk.  His legs stopped working.  The emergency docs said there was nothing wrong with him.  They thought he was a drug addict looking for pain meds.  They fucking released him even tho he could not walk.  

He isn't a drug addict, he wasn't faking it.  He went into surgery yesterday because a friend of his took him back to the emergency room and because he's  a doctor they listened.

He went into emergency surgery because they found a giant tumor on his spine.

I talked to him today.  He does not know his prognosis.  He does not know if he will ever walk again. It's likely it's cancer.  He's already had one bout of cancer.  He's more optimistic than not but he's also on major pain meds and he's not been told of everything yet. 

I talked to his mom first.  She is having a tough time.  She's in her 70's and is focusing on the fact that he made it through surgery.  

I have to figure out how to get out to see him.  I cannot sit around and not get out there soon.  

I've had this whole weekend to worry about him and to look at my family and our health and be so grateful for what we have.  

Shaking my head...what?

Ya know truly if there had been a health bill when Bush was in office, I would have supported it.  I don't understand why this MUST be about parties.  

I don't always vote party...and the health care insurance bill isn't (to me) about parties or how conservative or liberal you are politically.

To me, it's about people.  Helping people.  I read this article today in part: "The Senate Republican whip, speaking to reporters on a conference call from his home state of Arizona, said that even if the Democrats do away with a government-run insurance option, the GOP most likely won't support the bill that's being written in the Senate.

"I think it's safe to say that there are a huge number of big issues that people have," Kyl said, referring to Republican senators. "There is no way that Republicans are going to support a trillion-dollar-plus bill." 

And I guess I don't get it, I don't get why someone would make a blanket statement that no matter what a particular party will not support a bill to help humanity.  No matter what concessions are made.

I do believe most people WOULD sit around a table and discuss it rationally, hammering out how it could be done if it weren't so much about the balance of power rather than treating people right.

It makes me sad.  

Three days off.  Hooray.

Yesterday I got off work 2 hours early.  I used those extra 2 hours napping.  It was good. 

I got the rules I won in the mail.  One was broken.  The tip broke off one side, about an inch of the tip is broken into 2 pieces.  It's a triangular ruler.  The box was also bent so it easy to see how it was damaged.  I also got a bias ruler.  Just put it on fabric edge to edge and mark...instant perfect bias!

Retreat

Today I have to go to a "retreat" at work.  That's where we close the office and retreat offsite and do planning for the next year.  Me and my boss are supposed to be there but literally there is no reason for us to go.  

Last night at 5:10 one of the bosses told me they had to do a presentation on personality styles (like Myers-Briggs) and she asked me to bring mine in so she and I could do a comparison in front of everyone.  We have two opposite personalities.  She prefers to sit in her office never coming out and not talking to a lot of people.  I prefer to move around talking to a lot of different people.  (which is why I hate being chained to my desk doing nothing every day).  She must deliberate for days her decisions and I make them right now.   It will make for a good example for people.  It irritates me that she asked me to do this the night before when my profile is at home, not somewhere where I can make copies for everyone.  A friend of mine suggested I not bring mine in to make the boss do the whole thing on her own.  I won't take that suggestion for various reasons.  I guess one thing is true, your personality type doesn't vary much when it comes to natural reactions...it's a challenge to be given something at the last minute and get it done.  So I'll do it.  

Yesterday a girl who is above me in an administrative position told me I had to change a form to say:  "Hours will very monthly".   I am very amused by that.  

Yay, something fun!

Hey, guess what?  Today I found out I won 2 Simplicity quilting rulers from C & T Publishing. Cool eh?  I was jazzed all day.  I constantly lose rulers and yardsticks...so I'm hoping these won't be "lost" as I'll tell the family "Hands OFF!"  

They're going to send me 2 of one of these on this page here. I don't know which 2, there were multiple winners and they said they'd select 2 for each person.  

What a nice thing eh?

The other thing is I was busy almost all day.  THAT is a nice turn.  What I wouldn't give to be busy all day at work.  Except not the kind of Rube Goldberg busy of yesterday please.  LOL. 

That's my report for today. 

Rube

Dear Diary...LOL, some days I wonder if I'm just crazy because I seem to be the only one who scratches their head over Rube Goldberg practices.



We have to document every financial expenditure at work. It's a good practice because we do get audited every few years. It's understood at my job everything is documented. We have to go to training to know all the documentation rules for audits.

I had a form returned to me yesterday because a change in the total dollar amt we were spending changed. No problem. The new contract came in and I scanned it into a 3 page PDF document. First page was the approval form with a small space for the description details of what we were spending. The total dollar amount was written into the box that said Total. There was a brief description of the total. The contract was scanned in as pages 2 and 3. I wrote in the small description box to see attached for details.

NO! It was returned to me because the entire description had to be in the 2 inch space, it could not be attached, even tho it was in a single PDF document.

The person who returned it said it could not be in separate pages. The full description had to be on one page. She said it was for auditing purposes.

Since I had a PDF and a Excel doc I had to redo the Excel doc so there was more room than the 2 inches available. Then I had to shrink the PDF description down a number of times to fit in the available space. I cut it and then taped it onto the form and then scanned that so the description was on a single page. Took me 45 mins to do the whole thing. (Mostly because I had to redo the Excel form and unprotect and protect fields, PITA really). Scanning the pages also takes time.

Eventually she admitted it was so her boss who has to sign it didn't have to flip the page to read the detail. Sooooo, I spent an extra 45 mins on this stupid document not because of auditing purposes but so HER BOSS DIDN'T HAVE TO FLIP TO PAGE 2 TO SEE THE DETAIL.
Flipping the page might have taken him 1/10 of a second. But she makes me spend 45 mins. redoing the form when a single page format is not required for auditing purposes.

No wonder we can never get anything done timely at the university.

Recap

I've been up for an hour. Either sinus headache or migraine.

This weekend was full of stuff for me to do. Pool party on Friday evening to get all of us together because our friend has a Japanese exchange student here. This student was here 3 years ago, loved it and asked if she could come visit again for a week before heading to Minnesota to her actual host family. Isn't that great? It was fun, all the kids were there swimming while us adults hung out and ate pizza.

Saturday was book club. Fun as usual. Earlier in the day my daughter had a BAD migraine and a BAD reaction to her new meds so I mostly worried the whole day. Getting out to do something (by the time I left the husband was home to watch her and she was sleeping) was nice.

Sunday was a slow day, I read mostly. Tried to take a nap but just as I was falling asleep or maybe had been asleep for 10 mins the husband started rehearsing. He has an unbelievably loud voice so it woke me right up. It's kind of like someone standing next to you yelling in your ear when you're asleep. You jump up startled. Yeah, I was not a happy camper.

He left for his open mike thing. I took a shower and my friend called and asked if we wanted to come over for homemake tempura. How could I say no? I was clean, I was hungry and nobody was home so my night was free. It was great.

Hey, look! It's 5:30 now, time for me to get up and get ready for work.

Scattered stuff

A yesterday I finished a knitted scarf. It's was 105 outside and I sat and knitted the last couple of inches at lunch. Craziness.

Today it was 111 where I live. Hot as Hell.

Work this week was odd. The big boss was very solicitous to me all week. Today she invited me to lunch, she paid for a 15.00 lunch at a nice restaurant. All we did was make small talk, no talk about the bad stuff in the office. Weird. We get along fine but it was still odd and weird.

Tomorrow night is Book Club. That Potato Peel Pie book was good I thought. I totally enjoyed it. Light and fun (with some war-ickiness) made it a good read.

I want to make a book. A covered folio really with hand sewn signatures. Using fabric and other media on the cover. I swear I should stick to one thing instead of having Craft ADHD.

More ADHD moments: The first photo is me from the birthday party I attended in LA a few weeks ago. A stranger came up to me and asked if he could take my picture. While I don't really like my picture taken I said ok. I look ok. (otherwise you'd never see this). The owner of the photo has it uploaded to FB so I was able to grab it (with his permission) The second picture is the shoes I wore that night. I took that picture. I don't wear white shoes ('cept sometimes tennis shoes) but you can see I do wear spiky heels. LOL, one of these days I'll decide I'm too old for heels but certainly not yet. Give me a great pair of pumps and I am a happy over the hill woman. Bwhahahaha.

The phone isn't ringing

hmmmm, there is a "Come to JC" meeting in the conference room. The big boss read the self evals and I think the message of how messed up the office is came through.

One of the complaints is the lack of leadership here, specifically this dept. There are 3 bosses (actually 4 but one just started a week ago) and they all have their issues about not being available.
1. One is always in meetings away from the office. She is probably here 40% of the time and when she is here you can stand in her doorway and she will not look up at you. If you say something to her, she gives you the look of: What the hell do you want? and the tone of her voice matches that. People prefer to work around her.

2. One boss can't hear. I mean you can walk into her office and say: The temperture outside is 85. She will offer up solutions to a status. Her answer will be: Maybe you should wear lighter clothing? Or I'll have to ask the big boss if it's ok that you feel that way. If there is a direct question to her asking for specifics (in direction) she will say: What do you think? She cannot or will not take a stance.

3. The third one never wants to hear what anyone has to say unless they are a manager. It's very clear to everyone in the office that they don't count. Sooo, it's a lack of trust and confidence. The staff knows it. There are specifics on how this manifests but I can't talk about them.

Oddly only one dept is in there. Yet is almost all the staff that has an issue.

Right now I'm sitting in the front of the office and other than 3 people in the back working there is no one here. One of the girls who's office is right next to the conf room called me to tell me there were raised voices in there. Not raised enough that I can hear them tho...that means it's at least civil. But I'm betting there is a lot of frustration in that room right now.

lalala. I'll just sit here and listen for the phone to ring.

yoga

Tonight I went to yoga. It was fun although it was a slow class...but slow is good for me since I haven't taken a class in literally 2 years.

The teacher asked if I'd ever done yoga before - yes, but it's been 2 years.

You'll be fine, she told me. (lololol)

Later she came up to me and said, Oh, it looks like you've found your pose!

At the end of class she said, I think you could attend any class here. You did just fine.

I didn't want to tell her I've had years of training and I used to teach yoga. I used to teach at THAT studio. LOL, made me smile thinking of it.

I left that studio because of the weird owners and the fact that as I was traveling to a yoga conference (with big famous teachers workshops) one of the owners called me to tell me that he was...ah...well, ummmmm, needed to take my class away from me and give it to the new partner but if i wanted to take a different slot i could...but I'd have to teach a beginner class instead.

The old studio where I taught for 2 years merged with this new studio with weird owners. We were all told that none of us would lose our classes but by the time they did that with me, the other 5 original teachers had all had the same thing done to them. I knew it was just a matter of time. When the time came I just said, Ok, give the class away, I can't take the other class..good luck to you.

And I never went back. Too many weird stories from other yoga teachers, I didn't want to be involved.

Tonight I found out the weird owners were now gone and someone else owned the studio. Hmmmm, I decided to go.

Tonight I feel great, now I've got to figure out how I can go more often again.

Reading material

I started reading "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" last night. Tonight I finished it. A very quick read and a very sweet book. It's about the occupation of Guernsey by the Germans. All in letter form.

So now I'm turning my self to "How to Win a Cosmic War: God, Globalization, and the End of the War on Terror". I have a lot of interest about the subject and I'm especially drawn to it because it's not about U.S. politics per se, but about how not understanding a culture brings about our situation.

I'll probably be better informed about the content after I read it but that is my take on it watching a few short interviews with the author a few months ago. One of the girls at work was reading the book and she lent it to me after she finished.

I love discussing religion with her. She's Christian and she's very well versed in other religions and cultures and understands how to bridge between them. She does not try to make her POV the *right* one, she allows that each person holds dear that which gives them the most solace. I admire that in a person. To know there is enough of everything for everyone.

So I'm off to go read at least the first chapter tonight. Better start in since it's after 10 p.m.

gotta move my butt

I don't really think anything will come of it but today I sent my resume to an old friend who works at Starbucks as a area manager.

I have a lot of management experience but it's in corporate not in retail. But I have had a lot of retail experience albeit was 25 years ago.

All I want to do is go to work and look forward to being there. Being able to talk to people rather than having to sit at a desk, no wait, chained to a desk.

So I lower myself to work retail (for there are a lot of people who'd consider that lowering my standards) but really, I can't keep working where I work without going totally crazy. I have to find something else.

Ha, but it has to pay more than I make now...which wouldn't be that difficult. I do want to get my deviated nose fixed so I do have to plan for that. Ideally I'd find something after Christmas so I can have that vacation time off...which will never happen at Christmas time if I work retail.

If nothing comes of me looking towards retail, that's ok too. I just need to put it out to the universe publically. I think. LOL.

Interdependence

I read something my niece wrote. Don't worry, it was public so it's not like I was being nosy. :-)

She wrote: "I’m broken, some days." ***note: Do not take that comment out of context, I only wanted to address this line.***

The struggle for independence is very tied to our versions of the expectations of others. It takes years to get to the point that you understand that piece. Sometimes you compromise, some times you can't.

We believe rightly or wrongly that if we don't behave a certain way we've failed (them). We think we know what the expectations are (and sometimes we do absolutely) and sometimes we make those expectations up.

Trying to balance the expectations of others and our own actions can sometimes make you feel like you've failed, that you're broken in some ways.

There is no failure in taking moments (days, weeks, etc.) in reflecting on the idea of not behaving in ways that don't come up to the expectations of others. There is no failure on your part if you cannot compromise your own self to come up to the expectations of others. For they are pushing their expectations upon you to meet their own expectations, even if they are not aware of it.

Broken? No. Finding your own voice, your own way? Yes.

"How beautiful it is to do nothing, & then to rest afterward."

The heat here is horrendous. Like Tx. Yesterday had to be 100 with 80% humidity. It's better today but still just stinkin' hot.

On Friday I stopped at an estate sale. I got a big bag of buttons for a dollar. They aren't great buttons, just plain buttons but I hate buying buttons at the store. Plastic buttons are expensive when you just need 1 (because you lost that one button somewhere, maybe the washer or dryer? It's not because I'm too fat it's always the bottom button to whatever cardigan or shirt I have. Weird). They looked all pretty together, the buttons that is.

So yesterday I made a bracelet out of some of the white ones. But I don't like the bracelet. I'm just not a button jewelry kind of gal. But it kept me busy for a little while.

I also knitted a bit on my scarf. I bought some Lion's brand suede in Spice for 1.50! I don't really like knitting with this stuff, no stretch at all. But how could I pass up yarn for 1.50? Since there was only one skein I should have passed on it but I loved the color. So my scarf is only 4 inches wide and hopefully it will be just long enough. If it isn't I plan on using one of the other 2 skeins in olive or teal as the other half. I know, weird but I think it would be cool to have 2 colors on each 1/2.

I could have done stripes using all 3 but I didn't want to weave in a kajillion ends. This yarn sucks when it comes to weaving in unless you want to knot it and I don't. The ends will always poke out and it looks ookie. Been there and done that.

Anyway I like the scarf, I'm doing seed stitch so it's nicely textured. And the best part is I don't have to think while doing it. LOL.

Today I ventured out of the house to pick up a book that we're reading for Book Club. Something about Potato Pie. I hear it's another one night read so I should have it finished by Sat no problem.

A nice weekend without having to think of that stupid place I stay at 9 hours a day on weekdays.

Talking

So on my review it was noted that people stop at my desk and talk to me. The only goal I have for the upcoming year is to figure out how to stop them from talking to me. I pointed out that the employees who are talking to me have the problem, not me. it's up to their supervisors to deal with their behaviour and if they're talking to me they should have it on their reviews. I'll add I got high marks for always having my work done completely and timely.

The day after my review the big boss who added the crap about people talking to me left the office for 3 hours (which is her right as an exempt employee). She went to sign escrow papers. You know, personal business. Her right as well.

She walks back into the office and I am sitting at my desk. Natch.

She talks to me for 20 minutes telling me about the horrors of signing all that paperwork and how terrible this whole process has been. She even leans on the wall as she talks to me. She finally goes into her office.

My boss looks at me and says: "OMG, I can't believe she just did that! She totally stood here for 20 mins talking to you about personal stuff!"

Yeah, that's the problem. The big boss can point out things like that but it's ok if she does it. I tell my boss all the time how she talks to me for up to 45 mins at the end of the day rather than doing work. Or letting me go home because the phone never rings after 5.

bitch, bitch, bitch...it's unbelievably crazy.

left the nest

It's funny to be friends with a 22 year old. She's barely older than my son but we have a different relationship than I have with my son's friends.

She's in grad school now, left a couple of days ago. Me and a friend from work went out, had dinner with her and then had a drink at a local pub (ok, so I ORDERED a drink but gave it to my friend after 3 sips). I am just not a drinker. Not interested. I've tried but really I just don't like being high. Weird. Well, because I used to drink socially all the time. Now, eh...I'd rather be sober.

I digress. It was great seeing her sing Karaoke in front of us. She was good! She said it took her a long time to be brave enough to do it. Well, she's got a great voice.

We parted about 10:30, I knew she had to be up by 3:00 a.m. What kind of adult friend would I be if we stayed out til midnight or later? LOL.

Tonight she called me, left a message and then posted to my wall on FB to call her. I did and she was exhuberant! She loves it in Chicago. Loves, loves, loves.

LOL, course she hasn't lived there in winter, I expect to hear her bitch about it later but for now, she is ecstatic. Good for her, an adventure. Something I've never done...gone away to live on my own having adventures. Looking back I wish I had. Oh well, I guess what is done is done, eh?

I'd love to visit her one day, me and my friend from work. For now I have to be content with seeing her pics on FB and hearing about her adventures. I hope she stays safe (I do worry about her). I know she looks at me as a friend but also as someone who she looks towards for advice. Things she might not broach her mother about just yet.

As an aside, her mom is 4 years younger than I am. LOL.

I hope she loves it there and finds all kinds of great memories.

An old friend

Today I got a Facebook friend request from a friend I met 18 years ago. He was a good guy. I worked with him for at least a dozen years.

Towards the end of that time he came out as transgender.

Life was difficult for him. I was the first person he told. I was also the first person who saw him dressed as a her for the first time (first of the company friends, and I don't think he had any outside friends).

I know it was because he knew he could trust me (I don't tell other peoples secrets ever).

As he returned to work as a she...she had a very tough time with people accepting her in her new image.

She left the company, we lost touch. For probably the last 6 or 7 years I haven't heard hide nor hair of her.

I was really happy to get her friend request. She looks like she's transitioned quite well as a female. She was quite male looking before and now there are only very small hints physically. I don't think anyone who didn't know her before would catch on easily.

I've seen firsthand how people can treat someone they've known for years like they've got something that might be catching, or look at them like a freak. To spurn them because of religous beliefs. It's heartbreaking because other than the wrappings they are exactly the same person. Exactly. The eyes, the windows to the soul is exactly the same.

A toast to her, a toast to old friends. I know some people can't handle that kind of change but I'm a richer person for knowing that from great struggle one can overcome that which looks insurmountable.

Reviews - out of this world

OMG, today I had my review. I am laughing so I won't just up and quit.

The Big Boss was never, ever on time for a meeting ever. She was always late. She finally decided to do something about it and turned over her calendaring to me. Her assistant could not do it, the Big Boss complained.

I took it over and very smartly added a reminder to my computer so I could put in a time when she needed to leave and when it popped up I'd get her to haul her butt to her meeting.

You'd think someone at her level could remember her meetings, eh? No, she cannot. Even tho I print her a calendar ever day.

For the last year I've been getting her to meetings on time. ON TIME. She listens to me too. She will cut short whatever conversation she is having to go. Because I stand there until she gets out the door.

Like a babysitter or a parent.

Today I got a More Than Satisfactory on my Work Approach. Because (as near as I can tell) there was a comment that I missed getting her to a few meetings recently. And yes, I forgot to tell her twice and twice I was busy on the phone and didn't hang up to get her to go to a meeting in our own dept. So about 4 times I missed getting her somewhere. Over 1 year of 6 meetings a day on average. That is over 1,600 times.

The other items were good remarks regarding my Work Approach. So how I got a More Than Satisfactory when it's taken super human strength to do my own job and get her out of the office on time is beyond me. She can't do it, my boss (who is her assistant) couldn't do it but I can and do. It seems petty to call out "a few times recently" in a review that is supposed to cover an entire year. The subjective instead of objective measurements is non-existant.

I got 3 More Than Satisfactory and 3 Exceptionals on my review. Nothing is measured, all of it is subjective. So the overall is More Than Satisfactory.

Ya know the jerky artist that works in my office? He got Exceptional. Why you ask? Because he's a good artist. WTF is that? He spends 1/3 of this time doing his own personal comics on work time, he screams at people - his interpersonal skills are horrible. But he gets an Exceptional overall because he's a good artist.

My boss got dinged because she gets personal phone calls on her cell. That is true. But her boss had spent DAYS on her personal fianances - she's refi-ing 2 homes and uses work time to talk to her banker. Not to mention she faxes docs to the bank, has had me do work on her documents for the bank and make copies of her husbands pharmacy receipts so she can file them with her accountant. So she has the balls to ding my boss for getting 2 minute calls.

I really, really have to get out of there.

Catching up with some video and things I made post

The other night at the party, the bday boy dragged the husband and Jules into his house to sing show tunes. Here are a few videos.

My husband sitting on the piano bench singing with Jules on piano. (and yes, there are drunken people singing along throughout all these videos)

Dang it, on this one my memory card got full right before the high note ending. And he hit it as well!





There was a room below ground that is right next to the pool. You can see swimmers swimming (sans heads, hahahah). This was a mistake video, so it's really short but you get the drift.

More catch up stuff.

This is the backside of the necklace focal piece I did for a friend. Materials: magnet, alcohol inks, paper, stamp, gel medium. I ended up not using both strands of ribbon. Next picture shows the front side and what I ended up using. Click the photo to see details. Sort of hard to see some of the detail on the second photo. I need to be a better photographer or take more time or something.



This shows the front side of the focal piece and the simplified version of what I used as the necklace. I had many strands of ribbon with different beads but I ended up liking a very simplied version for the person I was giving it to. Also shown is the hairpin lace scarf I made.

From riches to ahhh, temporary housing

What an adventure last night. We drove into LA to attend a birthday party for a friend. He works for a film company and lives in the Hollywood Hills.

He lives in this giant enclave. The owner of the film company lives in the larger house, he lives in the smaller house. They are not a couple (he's gay) but they are business partners and friends.

The owner of the film company was not there, but we did see inside her house. And we roamed the grounds. Beautiful. It's pretty incredible to see how the other side lives.

The party was filled with beautiful gay men. 20 men for every woman there. A lot of eyecandy.

We parked on the street below the house and walked up to a van to shuttle us up the hill. We had to be cleared by security both before we got into the van and once we were up the hill. It's a steep hill and would have been a hell of a walk. We arrive to the front gate which is lit up with teeny lights and there were tiki torches. 3 or 4 bars were scattered about the house. The pool was giant and one side was the deep side, the other shallow. The two sides were separated by a bridge you could walk over. He had giant paper lanterns strung all over the area surrounding the pool.

We were treated to a tour by the birthday boys mom (who we've known for 30 years). She showed us the wine cellar. Very cool. The wine cellar has windows that look into the pool. Not over the pool INTO the pool. So you could see people swimming in the pool sans heads. Ok, so there were no women in the pool just men. Some in speedos (too much information to see swimming) and in regular board shorts trunks.

We sat around the backside of the house where it was quieter (the dj was playing lots of loud dance music). The view of LA was breathtaking. We sat on a walled bench that had beautiful cushions and we stared right into the owners living room. I had one drink just to say I had a drink at the party.

We marveled that we were at this famous persons house. It was freaky to know someone as powerful, smart, driven had all of this at their disposal. They've earned it that is for sure, we discussed the "having" and "not having" of income like that.

The bday boy asked the hub and Jules to sing and play so they sat inside his house and played show tunes (mostly). A crowd gathered. He was hysterical sitting on top of the piano. The funniest thing was when he lost his balance and fell forward into the piano and the hub and our friend Victor caught him. I had to keep moving his drink so it didn't fall into the piano.

Sometimes it was funny to hear someone tell us things about the house. One guy told us things to show off how well he knew the bday boy and the house. We didn't tell him we'd know the birthday boy since he was 10. It was sort of a sad crackup listening to him stake his claim.

The bday boy was so sweet, he's always been sweet. He was sweet when we saw him a few weeks ago at the memorial. He was sweet to invite us to his party. And he was sweet enough to tell us how much he loved us...I think he has very fond memories of his childhood and the part we played in it.

We left at about 2 a.m. We'd been there since 8 p.m. Leaving a party at that time isn't the smartest thing we could have done. About 1/3 of the way home some jerk decided to change lanes and nearly ran into us. If it wasn't for me saying, "Look out that guy is coming over." and the hub slamming on the brakes he would have hit us between the side front passenger door and the front panel. Whew! Disaster averted for us.

But we weren't home yet.

We get home and the hub asks if I have my key. No, I didn't bring my keys because I didn't drive. Uh Oh. He left his house key for the daughter and it wasn't underneath the mat any more. We called her...she was just up the street spending the night with friends. No answer. The hub checked all the doors and windows. All locked. Tight. We called all 3 cells of the friends where the daughter was sleeping. No answer.

We called the son, no he does not have his key. Drat.

It's getting coolish and thank god I'd taken 2 towels with me in the car. I was wearing all white and I didn't want to get anything on me so I sat on a towel and used one to cover me in case I spilled the drink I took with me. So I wrapped myself in the towel, wearing it like a stole. Very attractive at 3 a.m.

at 3:30 I decided to walk to the girls house and wake them up to get the key. I woke them up and the daughter comes to the door and says she locked the keys in the house because nobody told her I might not have my keys. OMG. What is up with that?

The hub wanted to go to a hotel. It's 3:45 a.m. I wondered if it would be just as well to call a locksmith? Spend 150.00 to sleep for 2 or 3 hours and then end up having to call a locksmith too?

We decide to sleep in the car. Think about that...we come from a 10 million dollar house where there were no expenses spared for a party just to come home and have to sleep in our car like hobos.

I was cold, I slept fitfully. I think I woke up one time startled and sat straight up. I think I woke the husband up because he asked me if I was ok. It was still dark at that time. I woke up again later when it was light, I sat up and the hub was gone. I fell back asleep. At some point he came and said: "I'm in!" I don't even know which window he got open. I just stumbled into the house (leaving my glasses in the car) and fell asleep.

All in all it was a good adventure. I did ooooh and ahhhh but I don't think we looked all that provincial. I'm happy that the bday boy has done so well for himself, he's basically made it in a business that isn't easy to get into.

As soon as I get off my butt I'll upload photos and some videos. You'll see the drunken antics of a fun party. Glad I didn't drink so I remembered to take some videos, etc.

My day in LA

Today me and some girlfriends and one husband went to the Museum of Tolerance in LA. A very good museum. We also took a 12 yr old girl and a 13.5 yr old boy.

I don't often think of myself as a minority, although because I'm a product of a white father and a Japanese mother I am a minority, or at least I LOOK like a minority. I don't really look white. I don't particularly look Japanese either btw. I just look like I could be one of many different nationalities. Mexican, middle-eastern, Asian, iIndian, Mediterranean, etc.

I was always confused as a child because I was called names but I saw myself as exactly like my blue-eyed, blonde neighbors. HA, my dad was blue-eyed and blonde (errr, when he had hair, LOL).

I have a white friend who is getting more and more vocal about her distaste about Mexicans. She makes disparaging remarks about them, about how prevalent they are where we live. I don't know what she expects, we live in Southern California! They were here first for crying out loud. Our culture here is rich in hispanic culture. She mentioned that a friend of hers came back to town after being gone for 10 years and was shocked at how many Mexicans there were here and she said to us, "...And you know she is right! I want to move because there are so many of them nowadays."

I wish she would move. She thinks they are taking our jobs, taking over our neighborhoods.

But in all that she doesn't think she is racist.

Today we listened to a man who used to be a skinhead. He's renounced his past and works at the museum, educating people about racism. As I listened to him speak I realized that fear is the motivator, fear of something different. This same woman is deathly afraid muslims will take over the US, that somehow their birth rate is going to climb so high that everyone will be forced to practice their religion. She's so afraid.

I would urge every person to look at the person, the similarities and work from there. Knowledge is the key to understanding.

However, I'm not sure I'll ever understand why my friend is so afraid and why she can't see that her fear propagates fear and racism. Listening to her makes me feel ill. I don't think I can allow those kind of comments to go unchecked anymore.

The 13.5 yr old boy asked me a bunch of questions during our tour of the museum. He's 1/2 mexican (although he looks totally white), his father looks mexican tho. I don't think he's all that aware of racism because HIS parents are in a bi-racial marriage, his friends are of all nationalities and religious beliefs and he reminds me of me: thinking himself as just himself, not as a type that has a history assigned to him because of his ethnic background. It give me hope that he and his sister (as well as my own children) can, so far, see people instead of color. I hope they can see there are inequities in life and strive to educate that despite their ethnic background they do not fear different cultures and can help educate others who find out they ARE part of a different culture but are exactly like everyone else.

After the day at the museum we went to Canters, a famous Jewish deli. Yum. A huge meal, a fun time hanging out with my friends. Oh and btw, the husband did not go on this trip, he's been 3 times and he went to the beach to partake in a music festival.

Retail?

Ya know I'm on vacation right? You know I'm an hourly employee right?

Today I get a text from my boss who said the big boss heard from someone that my phone did not say I was on vacation. And that I didn't put an away message on my email. I actually did put an away message on my email but forgot to click the button to start it. The voicemail I didn't even think of because I rarely get my own phone calls.

She also mentioned that the big boss mentioned that nobody defrosted her small frig while she was on vacation.

I actually object to getting texts on whatever I did wrong while I'm on vacation. I was directed to set my email status and call in and change my voicemail. I did that.

I'm hoping someone mentions the defrosting of the fridge to me in my review. Because I am not the big bosses personal assistant to be doing her clean up work like that.

Yes, I'm cranky.

My friend at work tells me that I should do everything the boss tells me to do because eventually she'll see I'm valuable. Cleaning someone fridge has nothing to do with how valuable I am as an employee. It does show how menial my duties are tho, to the big boss.

Today I seriously thought about getting a job with Starbucks. It's a good company, I'd be with people, I'd be allowed to talk to people (it is frowned upon to speak to people at my work), I'd be busy much of the time (I am incredibly bored at my work). I'd have different days off, I'd be ok with working weekends. Holidays would be tough but I could do it. I've worked retail many times in my life, I could do it again.

I like the way Starbucks thinks (for the most part). It's not worried about whichever party is in power right now (where I work one must be politically correct to whatever party is in power) because they lobby for us). Starbucks fits my political beliefs more closely than where I work now.

I must ponder if I can afford to start off at a minimum wage job.

bored and driven to post meaningless nothing

The middle of the week, the middle of my vacation. I'm pretty bored. I finished the book, "Spin" and it was goooood. I couldn't stop reading it, it was that good. But now I'm not good because I'm out of reading material.

"cept on the web. But it's not like I can read a book on the web. I wish I had a Kindle. Then I could just purchase a book with a click of a button. It's not the same tho, but I sure would like the ease of getting a book right now when I want it. The price point for a Kindle is pretty steep, I'd never buy it for myself.

Ya know I don't ever buy anything that costs a lot of money, not for myself anyway. I've gotten ipods and other electronic stuff (like game consoles) for the family but other than buying a desktop I don't have any expensive toys. And the desktop is shared with the whole family (even tho I usually have the most amount of time on it).

Once I got an espresso machine. The best gift ever. I use it daily...errrr...multiple times a day. It's basically my diet.

Ok, I should go find something to do.

Alone

This week I am on vacation...such as it is. I've worked in the yard a bit. I knitted a headband to keep my ears warm when it actually gets cold again. I used leftover yarn and had just enough. I finished one book and am halfway through another one. Not a very exciting vacation but since I am so discouraged about work, it's ok.

I missed a bday party I wanted to go to on Saturday. Drat it all. Just as well, I had a headache.

Tonight the hub and daughter went to the movies. I didn't want to go, going to the movies is an ordeal to me. I actually don't like going to the movies. I know, *gasp*. I have weird eyes, I have this double vision problem and my eyes burn and tear if I sit watching something the same distance for a long time. A long time is 30 mins or so. So it's not a favorite thing for me to do. Plus I hate having things sprung on me. I'd rather have a bit of a plan, even if it's an hour beforehand. I think I need an hours notice.

I can't remember when I started not liking things sprung on me at the last moment. I didn't used to mind. But now I do. Today I read, I napped, I watered plants (see? trying to garden...I didn't like it much tho), I sat at the computer, and basically I lazed around. So I'm not dressed to go out and I'm hungry. Rushing around to do something just seemed like way more effort than I wanted to put out.

They went without me. I tried to bead...grrrr, I think I need a magnifying glass and I wished for sunlight to see by. I started to knit a scarf, nah, the forearm is twingy.

I ate dinner and contemplated the future. Sometimes I just need some alone time.

Stampington magazines, I can't shell out the money

I used to buy a lot of Stampington press magazines. I don't anymore. Too expensive. 14.99 for a magazine. I realize it comes out quarterly so it's not that much over a quarter but I can better justify smaller increments in my magazine habits. I must spend real money on novels to read...that take me far more time to digest than a magazine for almost twice the money.

The Internet is an interesting thing. A lot of the pieces shown in the magazines can easily be found on the Internet. The techniques aren't always on the webpages but I don't copy things that are in magazines, mostly I look at things for inspiration.

And it's free on the Internet. If the price was 10.00 I'd probably break down and buy one or two but 14.99 I can buy a book that will last longer.

True, Stampington Press uses great paper, good weight paper and card-stock covers. But it's still essentially a magazine and while I LOVE a good paper, I don't want to pay for paper when I'm paying for inspiration and eyecandy. On occasion, technique.

Sometimes the ideas are a bit whacky (I think). Where Women Create is one. Ummmm, frankly I don't care what your studio space or kitchen table looks like. I think it's a weird concept to look at someones space like that.

So what do I do? I look at the magazine, I don't read it there at the bookstore (lol, odd as it seems, it feels like stealing in my book) I glance at it and put it back on the shelf usually picking up 2 magazines like Beadwork, FiberArt, Cloth Paper Scissors. Magazines are always secondary to me over books. I'd rather buy 2 paperbacks to keep me entertained for the week over a large magazine I can read in an evening. Also, some of the articles shown in the quarterly are reprints of articles shown in the monthly mags. So I end up paying for it twice.

Basically the more I get for my hard-earned money the more likely I am to buy it.

Course if I ever get anything in one of the magazines I'd suggest everyone I know to go out and buy one, even tho it would not benefit me directly. LOL.

Can I turn into a gardener?

The husband and I are at a crossroads with the yard. He won't do anything about the yard and I can't lift heavy machinery or the decomposed granite I want put in to control the weeds and further growth. He won't do anything about the yard because we have dogs who poop in the yard. (and 2 of them dig). Well, the dogs have been here for 13 years, we've had a semi-ok yard all those years, it's just gone to hell since the gardener left. That and no water.

Hours pass since I wrote the above.

We borrowed a lawn mower. Ours is broken. It sat outside for the last week and a half. Today used it and mowed some of the weeds. There was a lot of dusty dirt flying around because most of our yard is dirt.

The mower isn't powerful enough to mow the portions near the 2 spigots, the grass is very dense. I had to tip the mower to come down on the grass instead of mowing forward. It worked although I had to keep tipping the front portion up so it wouldn't die.

I spent about 45 mins out there in the full sun...although it was 4:30 p.m. A little cooler than earlier today. I got more and more nauseous and figured I'd better come in and cool off. I took a shower, which didn't really help. I know better than be out in the sun for a long time, my autoimmune disease kicks into high gear if I'm out too long. I don't want to spend the rest of my vacation sleeping and having migraines.

I should be icing my arm but I'm typing instead.

Earlier today I ran some errands. I bought a succulent plant. It's Sedum nussbaumerianum. See it here, click. I understand it can grow in a 3 foot diameter. I came home and promptly planted it. The start of my succulent yard. It's fairly close to an area that seems to get some water from the spigot dripping. I checked on section but it was pretty boggy so it couldn't go there. The plant wants an area with good drainage. I'll have to see if the dirt is too wet there in the next couple of weeks. I'll move it if it doesn't do well. But for now I'm thinking I don't have to water it since the ground seems dry but somewhat moist. We'll see.

So I'm making a decision. If the husband won't do anything about the yard, I'll just do whatever I want. It will be slow, I don't have a lot of money to put into it. I'm thinking about getting some sage and lavender and some yellow daisy like flowers to put out there. I understand you can grow lavender from cuttings so I am going to try that.

How provincial am I? Very, I think

So this is fun/interesting/weird/exciting.

We got invited to a party in LA. The party is going to be at a very famous stars house. I can't even say who's house because that would be wrong.

The party theme is sort of a beach thing. I imagine there will be famous people there. I'm 99.9% the famous star will be there. It's not the stars birthday (like we'd get invited to some star's bday party!) But I believe there will be industry people there.

So I'm a little freaked out about what to wear. I know, how stupid is that? But still I think we'll stand out as the strangers, the oldsters there and I'd just as soon blend in so we don't look so, ah hmmm, provincial. I mean, how casual do you go? It's a beach party, but how beachy since it's not at the beach.

I hate to think I'll stare at everything around me, but I'm sure I will. I'm bringing a camera but I don't know the protocol for something like this. I totally feel like a fish out of water.

Weird.

homeless

Tonight I was homeless for an hour. The hub and daughter went to a movie, in my car, which uses my keys...although not the house key. But the house key is on my keyring.

I am not one who has different key rings for different things...I have one keyring. I am always confused by people who carry different key rings, like car keys on one, house keys on another and work keys on a third. I'd lose em or something.

I get a text from the hub's phone saying: We're at the movies. I do not know which of them texted me as the daughter lost her phone somewhere in the house yesterday. I wasn't sure if they were already IN the movie or were at the ticket booth. I noted the text but didn't think I needed to answer it.

Driving home with my carpooler I realized the husband might be at the movies. I texted him. No answser. We pulled into the driveway and there was no car indicating he was home. Since the daughter doesn't drive...my expert detective sense told me he was at the movies.

I got dropped off at the movies, I saw my car in the parking lot..all locked up and no way to get in and drive.

I checked the hubs few favorite spots (maybe he was waiting for the daughter to get out of the movies?) No dice.

I sat my butt on a bench, pulled out my crocheting and set in for a wait. Teen boys (obviously high) stopped to see what I was doing. "oh, man, cool." one said when I answered the question: "Ahhh, hey, what is that you're making?" Then they went off yelling hello to people sitting in the restaurant patio across the walkway. Very obnoxious, very teen.

It was an hour and 20 mins later when the hub called; he had no idea I'd texted him and when I told him I was sitting out there waiting for them...he asked me why I was out there. Ohhhhhh, your keys are in my pocket.

Ah yeah.

The good thing was I got a bunch done on the crochet. The bad thing is my forearm brace was at home. The good thing was I sat with nothing to do but sit there in the shade. The bad thing was the bench is metal and it felt like I had waffle butt. hahaha.

So even tho my daughter got mad at me (cuz I wanted to go home, she wanted to shop, I relented with a testy voice, she went but came back quick all cranky saying she wasn't in the mood to shop anymore) I was happy to have the break and happier still to have gotten home with some work done.

The Gare memorial

Yesterday was Gare's memorial. It was great fun to see everyone, mostly all musical theater people. His three boys were there and their wives and children. I saw people that I haven't seen in 20 years.

Listening to the tributes, I got a little teary-eyed. I didn't speak although I wanted to, I just hate speaking in public. After a while it got wild and lots of people told hugely funny stories about him. I laughed a lot.

I thought I'd link to a fun moment that came late in the evening. My husband and Julie went outside to rehearse something they haven't sung in about 20 years. Julie was a kid when they did Annie together. Now she's in her 30's, has 2 kids and is still a powerhouse singer. I love it that they kept in touch all these years.

Enjoy the video here.

Last nights doin's and today's doin's

I did finish the book: Naked by David Sedaris. Love him, love his view of the world. Go here, scroll down a little and listen to Sedaris read an excerpt taken from the chapter, "A plague of tics". Having my own slight case of OCD, this cracked me up.

Since I couldn't get my act together here at home we went to a local restaurant and had their 5.00 appetizer menu. It was good, sitting outside watching the walkers to go by while we discussed the book and what was going on in our lives. We saw the son (who'd been at the movies with some friends). We were out til a little after 11.

Later this afternoon we're going to a memorial party for my old boss who died back in May. It will be a fun time, I hope Gare knows how influential he was to all of us. Love him or hate him, he founded a group that still loves to see each other 30 years later. I can't wait to see who all shows up.