Sunday, June 7, 2009

The MIL update

I didn't see the MIL today but was expecting that someone would call today and say she's gone. But lo and behold she's more responsive today. Yesterday she had the death rattle going on. Each time she did it we'd all look at her expecting to see that last breath. I think that's what freaked the son out, the sound. It's a terrible sound, one you don't want to ever hear. Donita told us tonight that her dad had that sound for weeks at the end of his life.

I called the hub as his bro was trying to communicate with his mom. She was moaning something but it was unrecognizable to me on the phone. They told me she was swallowing again. As of yesterday she hadn't eaten since Friday (per orders) since she was not able to swallow without choking.

She is still on oxygen. I don't know what the doctors would say if they saw her. Apparently some friends of the SIL saw her and didn't think she was as close to death as it appeared to us. I took a look at her hands on Sat and she has the mottling in her fingers.

It's weird how one can be somewhat clinical in watching the signs...she's not comfortable per se, her poor body just does the Parkinsons movement all the time. She sometimes opens one of her eyes but she isn't seeing anything. I feel terrible that she's not able to communicate and she appears to be so agitated. I've read people close to death can rally right before they die but I'm not sure this is rallying or what. It's so hard to tell if she's in there or if it's just her body doing the Parkinsons thing.

I just want her to be able to relax, it sounds terrible to think death would be a blessing for her but I KNOW she'd rather be all relaxed and laughing if she could. It's difficult all the way around.

I hope she has a restful night. I hope within she is able to get some sleep and rest.


Brother Atom Bomb of Reflection said...

Lumi told me yesterday that, if and when Mom cannot swallow, it will take a short while before the end comes--like 24 hours. But sometimes it is hard to understand her. She kinda teared up when she said this.

I was expecting bad news today too.

It's funny how, when we say she is doing better, our expectations are lower for "better."

But today she was better. Her hands were warm. She tried to speak but couldn't. She smiled sometimes.

She wanted something, but couldn't say what.

While she is here, I will enjoy what time we have. But I don't want her to linger in her current condition because I know it's not the kind of life she would enjoy.

VO said...

No, I don't want her to linger in this state either.

I hope you guys sing to her loudly so she can hear you singing her to sleep.