Saturday, February 28, 2009

I make you...

It's sunny outside. You know what that means? Mowing the lawn. Grrrr.

The daughter is sick, the son is housesitting and the hub is still sleeping.

I need gasoline for the mower.

The other day I got into an argument with Office Worker. The set up: One Clerk Worker in the office motioned for Office Worker not to say something in front of an Authority Figure. It was about a work situation.

Office Worker said to me (out of earshot of everyone else): "That Authority Figure stops us all from talking."

I disagreed with the statement. Authority Figure hasn't said "You can't talk." it was Clerk Worker who made the decision not to deal with the situation if the Authority Figure overheard the conversation.

"No, no, no." Office Worker says to me, "Because she reacts so badly to things she's made it so we all feel like we can't talk." and "We can't talk about anything because of her!"

Office worker maintains I'm making excuses for Authority Figure because I say Authority Figure isn't the one who told her to shup it, it was Office Clerks decision, she's the one who told Office Worker to shut up.

1. I don't know how Authority Figure got blamed for Office Clerk deciding to work undercover and not let Authority Figure in on the little problem she was working on.
1A. Yes, the Authority Figure does fly off the handle sometimes inserting herself into things that could be taken care of without her getting into a snit.
2. How does "Authority Figure makes me feel..." mean "...Authority Figure makes it so we can't do (fill in blank here) when she's never said, "You may not talk/fill in blank here."

Office Worker claims I am blaming Office Clerk instead of Authority Figure. No, I countered, I'm not blaming are. You're blaming someone for actions the Office Clerk actually did.

I thought it was weird how the Authority Figure got villified because of her personality quirks. I maintain we all have tolerance levels for behaviors and we all choose to keep somethings quiet but it's not the fault of the quirky personality person, it's the choice of the one who chooses not to deal with it.

This Offic Worker also said to me the other day: "You make me feel like I've never worked in corporate before." This in response to me saying, "When I worked in corporate..."

How me working in corporate has anything to do with her is beyond me. The statement is all about ME, about my experience, not about Office Worker. She was really, really mad at me because I'd somehow MADE her feel like something.

I have to take responsibility for my own feelings. Nobody makes me feel like I love something, whether I hate something, whether I am indifferent to something. I choose to feel that way and when I do I have to explore that. Since I know I can't make Office Worker feel like she loves peas no matter what I say, how am I responsible for some feelings but not all feelings?

That said, I do understand how easily it is to blame someone for something. I'm always concerned that my children get gifts that make them feel special and thought about. I don't want them to feel I don't care or didn't give them a thought when I chose a gift for them. We all have to figure out what is the other persons tolerance level and work with that.

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