Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Bad patient

Should you forget that you have a colonoscopy scheduled til 6 days before and should you forget that you were supposed to call them 7 days in advance to get instructions and your perscription for the gawdawful stuff you have to drink you might still have to go to your scheduled appt.

Dang it. I forgot to call on Monday because it FELT like Sunday. My test is on Thurs so I figured if I called today no problem.

I called at 1:00 ish. First the appt setter argued with me about whether my appt was tomorrow or Thurs. My appt is the 22nd, Thurs. No, that is tomorrow. No, Thursday. No tomorrow, the 22nd is tomorrow. Oh wait, no you are right Thursday is the 22nd...my calendar is wacky.

I beg to differ, there is nothing wrong with the calendar. It's the operator that is wacky.

So then she berates me for not calling in sooner because I'm supposed to be on a *special* diet today. Since I've only eaten about 10 potato chips and had coffee I'm sure I am still in the running. She says I'm supposed to not have any meat, and nothing *cloudy*. No cloudy 2 days before? Wait, she'll get the nurse on the line. Good, because she's not very convincing that she knows exactly what my special diet is supposed to be. She puts me on hold (she thinks).

I hear her on the phone telling someone that she's got a woman on the phone who has a colonoscopy on Thurs and she's eaten and OMG, she forgot to call in. I hear silence for a few seconds and I say: Hello? Ohhhh, sorry, I thought I called the nurse. Duh. Good thing she wasn't really unprofessional.

The nurse gets on the line and I tell her what I've eaten today and she tells me what I cannot eat for today. No red meat, no fried meat, no raw fruit or veggies, no wheat, no roughage. Ok, no problem for today.

Tomorrow no solid food. And no asprin.

Oh oh, I took 2 Advil this morning. Oh no! No, no you can't take asprin only Tylenol. I have to ask the doc about that. I'll call you back because you might have to reschedule. No, I don't take them regularly (although I am supposed to), just if arthritis is really bugging me.


I get no call from the doc or nurse. But they allowed the hub to pick up my 'scrip and instructions. So I assume I'm scheduled even tho I took 2 Advil.

Oh yeah and I have to start drinking the icky stuff (a whole gallon) at noon tomorrow. My question of, "Ummmm, will this affect my ability to be at work?" was met with "ahhhhh, yeah."


I am one of the younger of my group, almost everyone else is 2 year or older than I am. So why aren't they getting scheduled? grrrr. All you people over 50 ought to be calling your docs to join this party.

Oh yeah, and the hub and daughter? They called me to ask if I wanted to meet them at Chipotle for dinner. But then they realized I couldn't eat anything there so if I WANTED to go there and meet them I could.

I think I'll stay home and have some tomato soup.


Donita Curioso said...

Oh my. I feel for ya. I had mine last year. The actual procedure is a piece of cake compared with the prep.

Billy Canary said...

It's just like the Jungle Cruise only no one shoots their cap guns.

VO said...

I've had a couple of them...since I was 45 for gawds sake. I put this one off for over a year. Procedure is nothing. It's tomorrow that's gonna be bad.

Brother Atom Bomb of Reflection said...

I'm due in a year.

VO said...

doo in a year. bwhahahaha. Sorry, I am fond of puns. I know ...the lowest form but ya know, what can I say?

Brother Atom Bomb of Reflection said...

You can say "I'll never use a pun like that again."

VO said...

Alas, I cannot lie and say I'll never use a pun like that again. I can try to be better but I cannot promise I won't slip up somewhere along the way.